FIVE REASONS TO BELIEVE COMPUTERS ARE MALE:

 1.  They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
 2.  A better model is right around the corner.
 3.  They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time       
     they ARE the problem.
 4.  Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.
 5.  In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

 FIVE REASONS TO BELIEVE COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:

 1.  No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
 2.  Even the smallest mistakes are immediately committed to 
     memory.
 3.  The native language used to communicate with other computers 
     is incomprehensible to anyone else.
 4.  The message, "bad command or file name," is about as 
     informative as, "If you don't know what is wrong, then I'm 
     not going to tell you."
 5.  As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself 
     spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.